I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
