Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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