The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
