I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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