New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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