Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
