I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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