sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize