It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the raccoons are back...
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