what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
