You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
