If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
