yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize