I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
