Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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