porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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