I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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