five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
