dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
