Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
