Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
