ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
