that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
