I will die if light touches me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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