Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize