You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
