i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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