yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
