We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
