How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
