I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
