they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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