bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
