Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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