Do you still have your period?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
