Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
