I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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