Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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