He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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