Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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