I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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