PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
