i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
