Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Did I show you my penis last night?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
