these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
