She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
