i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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