I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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