: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
