Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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