k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
