You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING