I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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