I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
