P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
