How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
