Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
