I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
