these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
