If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
