i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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