4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
